We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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