I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
