talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
