Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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