This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
