Cold hands, warm shart.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh god it's open bar.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
