please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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