And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
