Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
