just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
