Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
