why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
