I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
