I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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