remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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