im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
