The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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