I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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