everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
