I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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