Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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