That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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