Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
