Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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