There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
