Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
