i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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