I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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