Christians are straight up FREAKS
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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