Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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