Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
