I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
