RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
