did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
