nut hugger
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
