Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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