Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Welp...herpes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
