I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
