I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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