How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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