whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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