His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
