I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
