so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
