I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
