you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
