Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
