i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is my gift to your gina
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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