I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
