how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
