i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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