Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
