oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
