Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
