If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
