my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize