He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
