my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
