I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
