You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
