I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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