Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
