So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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