the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
