Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
well you can't waste a boner
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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