So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
